Warper News Network (2019 Edition)
by yoshi3000
Summary: The WNN is here with all your reality warping news insanity being the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We'll bring you our neutral outlook, reviews, and more content! (A parody of the news to talk business about Project Blackthorn and related projects.) Main updates monthly. (M for reasons) Sequel to 2018ver.
1. January 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **January 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing your favorite anchors, Cabba and Kale." _The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.__

 _Cabba and Kale were in business suits instead of their usual wear with updated New Years' hats._

"We're all here with 2019, everyone. We apologize for the late broadcast, and we hope the smaller networks covered for us." Cabba remarked with a small smile. "We were all on vacation and brainstorming new ideas for the network."

"Our first order of business is in the obvious that another universe has fallen. One famously inhabited by Ryker Blackthorn of the Blackthorn clan. This is following a trend of Steven Universe-related worlds falling apart at the seems or being flat out destroyed by jaded warpers. Characters from the verses are even facing some mistreatment. Of course, non-warpers getting mauled isn't an issue, but it is when warper versions get the shaft as well." Kale remarked sympathetically.

"On the positive side, safe havens for Gems are on the rise. Even those Church of Interga fellows aided in a recuse op for a group of those. Now to Vegeta with politics…wait, Vegeta, why are you here?" Cabba said as the camera turned to reveal Vegeta leaning up against the wall bored out of his mind.

"The government's been shut down….for four weeks! So, I don't anything to report other than the protesters demanding their pay. I'm going home…" Vegeta said before leaving the studio mutter curses under his breath.

"Guess, we'll go to Chi-Chi for Entertainment." Cabba said as the camera shifted to another area of the studio.

Chi-Chi was in a music center wearing clothes more fitting of a rocker than a mother. She wear big grey headphones on her ears and was jamming out to music.

" _Where did all the love go, yeah? Where did all the ends go, yeah?"_ Chi-Chi sang before noticing the camera was live.

She fell out of her chair but sprang back up into it trying to look professional.

"I apologize for the unprofessional interdiction, I was listening in to the new hit single by producer _Akeem Lawanson_ ; Where Did All the Love Go? by Ed, Edd, n Eddy ft. Rolf." Chi-Chi said sheepishly. "Same producer released a sequel, "Single D". Both songs are high up on the charts and there are plenty of people clamor for an adult show of the comical trio."

"Moving to TV, with the end of Steven Universe Blackthorned, there's been talk on if a sequel series will be made. Nobody seems to have an answer, and ratings for "Pokémon Loud Version" continue to steadily rise." Chi-Chi said. "Now we move to Krillin on crime."

The camera shifted to another room where Krillin awaited with Lazuli prepared for the audience. Krillin had a grim look on his face.

"It's a real shame, but there's been a small spike in hate crimes and discrimination against Gems. Specifically, against agates, pearls, lapis lazulis, and diamonds. Of course, this is usually coming from Gems of other types." Krillin remarked.

"On the matter of other crimes, warpers should be the lookout for…." Lazuli said only for her phone to buzz.

She looked to it seeing it was a text with a photo attached. She opened it up only to pale seeing the message. The normally icy gynoid had a look of fear on her face and has promptly bolted from the studio as if her life depending on it leaving Krillin stunned.

"Cut to…commercial." Krillin said going after her.

 _The feed went to static before new footage showing airing a trailer for Remnant's Four Shadows which shows Team YUKI watching the latest episodes of RWBY._

 _"Are you kidding me? Adam's…basically me, but really poorly written!" Yuki said tossing his popcorn._

 _"At least, he doesn't have Silver Eyes." Kelly said rolling her eyes._

 _Lapis and Ivory were more interested in their scrolls than Adam's whining._

 _The commercial ended and it cut back to the studio where Cabba and Kale had worried looks._

"It seems we have to cut today's broadcast short…we have a bit of an emergency." Kale said sweating a bit.

"So, we'll be seeing you…next time." Cabba said before they left.

Cabba had dropped his phone to which the camera panned to show a text.

 _It would a shame if you warned the public about me….you wouldn't want your child and her godmother to get hurt, don't you?_

There was an attach photo, a simple one of Caulifla taking little Taydo out on a scroll in the park unaware someone took her photo.

 _The camera glitched out and went to static showing a flash of a red X….ending the broadcast._

* * *

(A/N: Uh oh…who's threatening the news crew? Well, this is going to be an issue in the near future for a certain set of people. Look forward to more!)


	2. February 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **February** **2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Erasa." _The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.__

 _Erasa sat in a business set priming herself before putting away the makeup._

"Hii…everyone. Sorry that your usual anchors are not here. They said something about all needing vacations…off-planet. So, it's just me here with the camera crew." Erasa said sweetly.

"And it's my time to shine!" Sharpner said sitting down next to her. "I can be more than the cameraman!"

"I do not think so!" Broly (the current and canon version) said grabbing Sharpner to throw off-screen. "Get back behind the camera. It is my first day on the job!"

Broly was all prim and proper in a suit that barely contained his physique and Erasa was shamelessly ogling him.

"I am Broly, and this is Warper News Network. We start off in exciting news in that the smash hit, Anime Confessions, is coming for a Season 3. Everyone's favorite barman, Ryo Blackthorn, had apparently decided to stay around for another season before leaving for Conton City citing concerns for his best friend's health. Apparently, Trunks and Mai caught Space Crabs." Broly said flatly.

"Space Crabs? Is it basically crabs?" Erasa asked confused.

Broly blinked and said, "Oh no, not like those crabs. It's a disease when someone gets from being in contact with a sick crab-like species, usually the Cerebrocrustaceans. You wound up growing crab like lumps around your legs, genitals, and arms. They pulsate and throb having pockets of electricity in them…it's unpleasant. My father got it once…wasn't pretty." Broly said sympathcially.

"Gross. In other news, prominent Mirai Yoshi has apparently been revealed to be suffering from burnout. Poor oracle had to be taken off active duty at the urging of his friends and family. Rest easy, young oracle." Erasa said. "And as for Ryo, we do not have confirmation who will show up, but he has confirmed that the first episode of the third season will star an old face from the last two seasons returning. And that Season 3 could be anywhere between 15-20 episodes long!"

"I'm betting that it's Goku coming back." Broly remarked.

"Why Goku? You'd think Android 18 has more reason to return? Or maybe Shinji?" Erasa remarked.

"Isn't Shinji dead?" Broly said.

"Actually, I'm a ghost." Ghost Shinji said appearing from nowhere. "And I'm haunting you."

Broly screamed and tried to blast Shinji, but he was a ghost. The blast phased through Shinji and blew a hole in the roof. A piece of it fall and conked Erasa on the head leaving fall on the ground bleeding from the head.

"….I guess I'll have to cut the broadcast off here to get Erasa to a doctor." Broly said cradling her and flying out through the hole.

"And I get to close out the show." Sharpner said getting in front of the camera only for the feed to cut out. "OH, SON OF AN EMERALD WHORE!"

* * *

(A/N: Short and sweet, and most of the newscast is in hiding. Seems our new enemy has shaken them. On the sweet side, Broly! He's now our newest newscaster! Seeing this was rather short, there may be a part 2 in the future. Later!)


	3. March 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor spoilers for FusionFall Infinite, ahead. And if you're reading this by the time, I released the fourth chapter, this will provide context.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **March 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Male Kale…I mean Broly BR." _The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.__

 _Broly sat in a business suit with Erasa priming herself before putting away the makeup._

 _"Welcome back, warpers, to another edition of the WNN. Let's get started with the hard hitters." Broly said looking over at Erasa._

 _"A sad day for fans of the Crystal Squadron as scandal broke in the last weeks of February. "Sadie Killer" Sadie Miller and the "Crystal Hypocrite" Pink Diamond were arrested for crimes ranging of illegal sex trafficking, extortion, murder, bribery, attempted sexual assault, and interference on a protected planet." Erasa said seriously._

 _Images flashed up in the corner as Broly took the lead._

 _"Allow me to explain for those who you don't, typically warpers would not get pinned for extortion or murder, but those two chose to do these crimes on a protected planet owned by the Amoral Ace, Joshinari Blackthorn." Broly said before getting assurance from Erasa that he did not mess the facts._

 _"The trial was a fiasco that led to many taking a hit. Ryker Blackthorn, who was proven innocent of involvement, took a pelting from The Zooman Recuse Group, the SU-Critical community, and PAWG (People Against Wicked Gems). Ryker gave no comment. I pity the guy. He just got married, and he has to deal with the fact that Pink was trying to get her mitts on the Zoomans, and Sadie was caught manipulating one to into her pants." Broly said with disgust._

 _Clips of the trial were shown, and it was shown Sadie and Pink Diamond could feel the glares of the Crystal Squadron._

 _"Considering only now, it's been discovered that Sadie's pretty much a predator. But we digress, the trial ended with Pink Diamond making a deal with the Order and Joshinari, while Sadie got slapped with a maximum sentence as the Todachi Warper Women's Prison." Erasa said with a shudder._

 _"I know that Pink did not commit any sexual crimes, but let's be honest, she was clearly planning it. She got lucky that the most she was slapped with was bribery, extortion, and attempted murder. Also doesn't help she's stupidly powerful. Knowing Ryker, it was between keeping Sadie or Pink, and Pink was more useful." Broly said astutely._

 _Erasa was surprised by the analysis, and even Sharpner gave a look of surprise behind the camera._

 _"Well moving on, in CN-Zen Kuro news, crime across Asia has come to a gradual decrease due to the world of My Hero Academia merging with it in recent times. I'm not surprised. Apparently, thanks to medical improvements, All Might can use his buff form for eight hours a day. Pretty sure only those with a death wish want to be something stupid enough to warrant All Might's attention." Erasa said relived._

 _"In other news, Ryo is_ _still at the bar with Season 3 revealing the return of Pikachu and May from previous encounters. Sadly, Pikachu has been arrested for drunk driving and assault with the company at odds whether to server ties with the star." Broly said before closing up. "And that's all the time we have."_

 _"It is?" Erasa said looking down at her watch. "Crap! It is quitting time, I need to preorder some new games. But shouldn't we talk about the news in politics?"_

 _"Erasa, I barely know much about that, and it sounds boring. Can't we just skip it?" Broly asked getting up and walking away._

 _"Well, I did have some material…but…hey wait, I'm not closing out alone!" Erasa said chasing after him._

 _"Finally, it is Sharpner time!" Sharpner said turning the camera on him only for the feed to go to static. "Oh, come on!"_

* * *

(A/N: So, Broly and Erasa could be a thing? Debatable considering, I don't know if I want him and Cheelai to be a romantic pair or a familial relationship. Regardless, this one was a bit rushed considering I didn't realize it was March until when I came home today. Time flies.)


	4. April 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **April 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Zamazu and Goku Black." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

Before those could do could even worse, Beerus erased them a snap of their fingers.

"As if we'd let those two do news. I've seen Zamasu's internet feeds. He makes the ramblings of that Fryman fool sound coherent." Beerus said dusting off his hands as he and Whis took their seats. "April Fools, you warpers."

"It's long past that, and we apologize for the lateness. Apparently, someone thought it would be to funny to flood our studio with pudding of all flavors. We're still trying to clean it up and figure out who's responsible." Whis said as Goku could be seen in the background eating some of that pudding.

"In current events, Merch and Beth have finally tied the knot in marriage knocking down the number of 10th level warper bachelors. Rumors have pinged up that the family is moving to CN-Zen Kuro." Beerus said with a sigh of relief. "About time they tied the knot…they've been teasing it for months."

"Speaking of CN-Zen Kuro, property values are increasing steadily as more warpers seek as a safe haven. It's grown as a popular choice. Especially after the destruction of Kitsune-Sei by Pinkamena." Whis said as stats were shown on screen. "Right now, among warpers, it's growing to be in the bottom 500."

"And you're thinking that's not impressive, remember that the universe is barely a year old." Beerus said. "Of course, it's already became the biggest CN cluster, enough to be called a "main hub" alongside Nik-Alpha Orange and Dis-Delta Blue."

"In a bit of disappointing news, Mirai Studios has announcement another slow down of content due to the creative team needing a break after a bit of burn out. Considering the schedule slipping, let's just hope this doesn't continue on." Whis remarked.

"Speaking of that oracle, we're going to give a shout-out to a rising star. **Skorch.** Thank you for your contributions to warper society. Thanks for the laughs and we expect many more." Beerus said.

"And lastly, we must to disclose a rumor about the location of the **Master Metsu Emerald**." Whis said as the music suddenly stopped, and everyone turned their heads at Whis.

"You know where it is?!" Vegeta screamed.

"Why it's…."

 _The footage cuts out leaving an image of a chibi Goku Black with his head rammed through a television and Vegeta looking down at it with a wrench._

 _"Sorry, we're experiencing April Fools. We'll return to this scene…sometime never."_

* * *

(A/N: Cue the rickroll…and let's hope this month is more productive than the last. And shoutout to my friend, **SkorchNTorch**. The man giving us a Dragon Ball Z watches Death Battle! Now if only I could someone willing to get the cast to watch DBZ Abridged.)


	5. May 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **May 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Kale and Male Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

Broly and Kale were in the middle of a bit of an argument with Caulifla.

"No! I don't give a shit if the investigation! I will not tolerate Trump jokes…they're the lowest of comedy!" Caulifla remarked.

"But I have so much material…" Kale protested.

"NO! Make fun of someone else! Call Barr a pussy or something." Caulifla said.

"Personally, I…." Broly said only for Caulifla to cut him off with, "Shut up, Male Kale!"

"Enough with the pointless filler, we're on the air!" Beerus yelled off-screen.

Caulifla walked off as introductions were hastily made.

"First off on our news cycle is the slowdown of Mirai Studios being that most of their team are still college students. However, there's a secret new project in the works. This pilot is being dropped sometime this month." Broly said excited for what's to come.

"In political news, President Tara Strong of CN-Zen Kuro continues to be beloved by the people with her approval barely moving from her 73% percent approval ratings." Kale remarked. "Wait…wasn't she accused of secret dealings with the Kids Next Door?"

"No. It's actually more of an alliance. Let's be real, it's either side with that or let them run wild. At least, she's trying to push them in the right direction." Broly said exasperated. "With that being said, we have one last announcement before we close…"

Before Broly could start, Goku came charging in with Frieza and Cell all knowing terrified.

"Guys, we need to cancel the show. We have a problem! It's Moro, he's got warper powers!" Goku said terrified.

Caulifla dreaded the thought of that planet eating creep and screamed who told him the secret. Everyone shrugged before scrambling for a fight.

"Looks like we'll have to cut this short! Live fast and live free, warpers!" Broly said before rushing off to change.

The camera feed cut out.

* * *

(A/N: This is late due to studying and finals.)


	6. Late June 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **Late June 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Kale and Male Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

The studio was in a complete disarray and in ruins as Broly and Kale looked ragged and worse for wear.

"We apologize for ragged look and ruined studio. And that this is late…we were attacked." Kale said sadly.

"By social justice warriors of Space Amazonia. Tried to censor and ruin everything fun. Bleh. At least the reasonable ones from the Warriors with Purpose showed up." Caulifla yelled from off-screen.

"However, we have good news in that we're having an interview with the famous emo, Son Gohan." Broly said excitedly.

"No…we're not. They destroyed the weed we were going to pay him with." Caulifla said walking on-screen with a DVD. "So he recorded this because we couldn't pay him."

Broly shoved it into the player as that theme that often plays when the mood for shilling merch goes on. Gohan pinged on screen, the emo had his trademark deadpan look while leaning back in a beach chair on some ritzy hotel in West City.

 _"What's up, Warper News Network chumps? You have blessed with the sound of voice as I shill out some more merch for the shop! This month we got the new shirts in. This time you can grab the new Warper News Network shirt to show some love for these yokels."_

The shirt showed up on screen being a black t-shirt having the WNN newsdesk with Caulifla, Kale, Beerus, and Whis in suits as "WNN" lit up above them.

"I wonder if we get a discount." Broly thought.

" _And no, we are getting you cheap news bastards any discounts."_

Broly groaned and Caulifla flipped off the screen.

" _Moving on, we also got a new shirt of me. Similar to the old one, just with me backhanding my idiot father. These will all be available amongst the previous shirts for a limited time. Now if you excuse, I need to smoke up. Later bitches."_

Gohan flipped them off before the video ended leaving an angry Caulifla to scream, "What about our call to Daimotodaichi?!"

"And sadly, we're out of time." Kale said dryly. "I'm Kale and he's Broly."

"And I'm still pissed!" Caulifla said walking off screen. "I'm going to see if there is any social justice douchebags we missed so I can kill them."

"Sorry for being late…this month. We hope to fix this is the future!" Broly said as a headlight fell on Kale's head and another on the camera. "…Crap."

End Transmission

* * *

(A/N: Yes, so I'm mostly back to writing stuff for the most part. I'm so sorry this was late again, but life gets in the way. I owe so much updates and stuff like the Maelstrom of Stardew, FusionFall Infinite, and Sekirei Blackthorned are not easy to produce unless I have consistent write to do them and give them plenty of love and attention. It isn't like The Outsider's Insurrection, where it's much easier to get out ideas and isn't bogged by my multiverse's continuity (for the most part). Either way, expect a slow but fruitful month. See ya, next time!)


	7. Really Late July 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **Late July 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Kale and Male Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

The set actually looked rather nice and was completely repaired. However, it was obvious that they were not in the usual locations, and the heat was getting to them.

"Greetings, warpers from our new location in sunny West City." Broly said chipper.

Kale was not so much and said, "It's so hot…."

Kale was basically close to doing the newscast naked as she was down to her lacy underwear and makeup.

"Kale, you shouldn't be doing the newscast like this." Broly said sweating a bit of sweat off.

Kale got off and walked up off the set to change leaving Broly to go on his own.

"In recent bounty news, the rising star 10th rank warper, Desmond Bishops, has risen to 31,000,000 for a rather rare set of complaints. Combating the sex trafficking that warpers go through to get their pleasured delight. While he is not the first to do so, he is the first 10th level warper to actively take part in efforts." Broly said as Kale returned to desk in a red micro-bikini.

"Is Desmond intending on making himself a target for everyone to maim him and who he loves?" Kale said dryly. "Is he suicidal?"

Broly is politely trying not to stare at Kale as he gestured to one of their reporters at Planet Creation with Warper Elite Council. The camera swapped to said location and it was chaos. Poor Kasumi II looked like she wanted to hide as she was bombarded with questions. Cheelai stepped forward.

"Ahem, I'm Cheelai from Warper News Network. What is your stance given that a tenth rank warper has gotten involved in this mess?" She asked.

Kasumi got up and asked who. Once Cheelai gave her the name, Kasumi twitched as her warper energy flared strong enough to repel everyone back. She got up, told open a open, and it was clear to everyone that she was going to "talk" to him.

"Well I guess she's going to talk to him." Jeremy said quietly. "So, we're taking no more questions?!"

"But what about the rash of attacks by Pinkamena?" Another reporter asked. "Are they being brushed aside?"

"Actually no…Pinkamena's is not going to be an issue for a while. Apparently caught….cancer of the ass" Bat-Mite said dryly.

The camera cuts back to the studio to the shocked Broly and Kale. Kale just broke down laughing as Broly tried speaking only for her to keep laughing harder. After a few minutes, Kale got up to her chair and wiped a tear from her eye.

"But Kale, we can cure cancer now." Broly said. "So, it's not for long."

"True, but anal cancer is a bit more painful to deal with. Plus, it is expensive to treat." Kale remarked. "So, Broly? Can we wrap this up?"

"FUCK!" Caulifla spat as the soot covered and naked Saiyan walked on camera. "The AC is broken."

"Why are you naked?" Broly asked with twitching eyes.

"It's too hot to wear anything in this heat, and besides not like none of our viewers haven't went up to look up lewd pictures of me anyway. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Adrian Jase has apparently made Megan Blackthorn (nee Griffin)'s home universe to make it a brothel enslaving most of the women of note." Caulifla said before walking off.

"Wait, since she's a part of the Blackthorn clan, doesn't that make verse Blackthorn turf?" Broly asked.

"Technically, no. It is under common law, but given the fact that the Outsiders are a spacefaring bunch, they didn't stay long enough to claim it. Plus, the Jase family was actually there first. Jerome could possibly raise issue with it as he is the heir, but as long as Adrian lives, Jeremy can't legally do anything about it." Kale said dry like the air. "Now we end this broadcast. See ya space warpers!"

The camera cuts out.

* * *

(A/N: Better late than never. Desmond is in definite trouble as he's got Kasumi wanting to knock him into next week! Will he live through that? Find out in DSX62415's _Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time_.)


	8. August 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **August 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Chi-Chi." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

Chi-Chi was dressed up in a suit and welcomed the viewers before getting to the news. Before she could speak, Beerus walked up.

"A bit late, but a moment of silence for Cameron Boyce." Beerus said as they gave a moment of silence. "He deserved better than Descendants 3. We'll miss you."

Beerus left and Chi-Chi cleared her throat.

"In entertainment news, Mirai Studios is preparing for a boost in time for content creation this month. Thankfully, shows like the Maelstrom of Stardew will finally get some content." Chi-Chi said with a bit of relief. "There's also the fact that apparently production on RWBY content out of them has slowed. Something about neglecting other projects. And now Caulifla with politics."

The camera turns to Caulifla sitting with her feet up on the desk looking bored.

"Nothing's new, really. The Democrats running for President…are…there. What do you expect? Making fun of either party is just a chore, and there's over 700 people registering to run for the presidency." Caulifla said dryly. "And back to you, Chi-Chi."

The camera turns back to Chi-Chi looking frazzled over this saying that Caulifla was supposed to say some actual news.

"I'm sorry, but I can't anyone in politics seriously anymore." Caulifla said from off-camera. "Insert who people mostly blame here."

"Well, is there anything to even report?" Chi-Chi asked.

"The Boondocks is coming back." Piccolo said from off-camera as Chi-Chi rolled her eyes.

"Actual news!" Chi-Chi demanded.

"Hey, the Boondocks was a good show!" Piccolo shot back. "I suppose you want to report that the wedding between Merch and Beth is going to actually happen!"

"Wait, what?" Chi-Chi said as a stage light fall on her cutting off the broadcast.

* * *

(A/N: The Boondocks is back, and I'm so pumped. Yes, you'll be getting a new addition to the Rick and Morty side-series at last. Also, I will be putting RWBYverse is Infinite on hiatus until I get my other projects going…so no updates for it for this month.)


	9. September 2019

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **September 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Beerus and Whis." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set. "Wow, it's been a while."_

"All right, we got a full news day for you. To start off with it, Tumblr is still burning to the grounds. We mourn the loss of good art. In more important news, a new OU has opened up to take pets who have lost their owners or were recused from abusive ones." Beerus said as Whis perked up.

"Who's it run by?" Whis said.

"Some guy…forgot his name, Wick or something?" Beerus said as Whis started to sweat. "What?"

"Nothing, let's just switch to the recording of the interview." Whis said as the footage shifted to a conference room where Lazuli sat in one head and Desmond Bishop sat in another.

"Mister Bishops, you made quite a scene by sending a bit of Rei clones to the Order." Lazuli said as he nodded. "Your actions have gotten you good press….by the Social Justice Warriors."

"I don't think that's a good thing, isn't it?" Desmond said sheepishly.

"No, not at all. That means everyone else is more likely to hate you. Others are saying the Reis were a bribe. But I'm here about facts. The fact is those 51 clones have scattered and ended up in…interesting scenarios." Lazuli said.

Desmond defended his choice saying it was better for them then to end up under Gendo's heel.

"Yeah about that. Two of them were adopted by Pinkamena." Lazuli said as Desmond balked. "Another is seeking Joshinari Blackthorn to train her."

"And the rest?" Desmond asked.

"There's a Rei that joined the Integra Church." Lapis said positively. "Two others were spotted heading CN-Zen Kuro."

"But the others?" Desmond asked again.

"Don't know, but we have not heard anything. We can assume the best. Besides, what's stopping Gendo from buying more clones?" Lazuli asked.

"Wait, you can buy Rei clones?!" Desmond said as the interview cuts out.

Back to Beerus and Whis, both looking concerned.

"Technical difficulties. We'll have to release the interview online later in the month. Moving on, there's the release of a new version of Evangelion made by one of those Rei. Apparently, the difference is Rei, Shinji, and Asuka are c…" Beerus said as Whis shushed him.

"Spoilers." Whis warned.

Whis cleared his throat and continued, "Word from Mirai Studios had come out that production on RWBY related material is slowing to a halt. While it's been eaten up by the fandom, other projects were being neglected."

"Yeah, where the next Maelstrom of Stardew? It's been months!" Beerus ranted.

"At least we're getting more Multiverse of the Stars." Whis said only for Beerus to slap the coffee out of his hand.

"Three months! And where's…." Beerus said before being dragged off-camera by a Rei as he ranted. "And are we even going to talk about KickVic!?"

"And that's all our time. Stay warping, space warriors!" Whis said as the feed cut out.

* * *

(A/N: Yes, it's early for us in the East. However, I wanted to get this out to reference DSX64215's Eva fic. I did only show part of the interview. Maybe he and I could make a short story out of it, and it'll end up here. I did want to reveal that while Desmond did a good thing in his eyes, but, seeing it's the multiverse, I wanted to point how it could royally backfire.)


	10. Sept (WNN Warper's Spotlight)

**A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.**

 **(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)**

* * *

 **The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **September 2019**

 **WNN: Warper Spotlight**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The camera opens with Lazuli sitting next to a coffee table across from another chair.

"Welcome to "WNN Warper Spotlight". Joining Lazuli on tonight's program will be one of the newer Level 10 Warpers to have emerged: one Desmond Bishops." Krillin said off-camera as the camera pans to Desmond in the other chair.

"Mr. Bishops, you said you came here to dispel the so-called rumors of your war on the trafficking rings of the multiverse. Care to explain the situation for our audience?" Lazuli said astute and stern.

Bishops responds, "Well to put it simply, the claims made against me aren't exactly true as while yes, I have attacked a few operations in the past, they were merely jobs I took for means of bounty hunting and to give my apprentices a preview of what they should expect from the future. And in regard to the recent death of one Remy Adrian Jase, I had no part in killing him as I was forced to play bomb squad during the moment in question, as seen in the most recent episode of my show."

The cyborg host taken his response methodically forming her question coming to a decision.

"And your official state on the matter is?" Lazuli asked as Bishops answers, "Look, I know I can't take on all of these brackets, not even close. I also recognize that people deserve to get some well overdue karma on certain characters, which some of these services provide. But if anyone tries to muscle in on my territory, I am damn well gonna make sure that they don't walk out of it with their lives intact."

"Of course, the multiverse is an endless place, and territory is important for a Warper looking to plant their roots. The various wars of the Frost clan and others of the past are proof of this." Lazuli said in an assuring manner which seemed to relax him.

That was before she goes into a more serious tone saying, "But there is something else that we must address that's just as serious."

Desmond simply asks, "This is about the Rei clones that I liberated to build up my forces for the eventual siege of my Geo Front, isn't it?"

The blonde female cyborg answers shaking her head as she confirmed his fears.

"Mister Bishops, you made quite a scene by sending a bit of Rei clones to the Order." Lazuli said as he nodded "Your actions have gotten you good press...by the Social Justice Warriors."

"I don't think that's a good thing, isn't it?" Desmond said sheepishly.

"No, not at all. That means that everyone else is more likely to hate you. Others are saying the Reis were a bribe. But I'm here about facts. The fact is those 51 clones have scattered and ended up in...interesting scenarios." Lazuli said crossing he arms.

Desmond defended his choice saying it was better for them than to end up under Gendo's thumb.

"Yeah, about that...two of them were adopted by Pinkamena." Lazuli said as Desmond balked before she added "And another is seeking Joshinari Blackthorn to train her."

"And the rest?" Desmond asked fearfully.

"There's a Rei that joined the Integra church." Lazuli said positively before adding "And two others were spotted heading towards CN-Zen Kuro."

"But the others?" Desmond asked again.

"We don't know, but we haven't heard anything new yet. We can only assume the best for now. Besides, what's stopping Gendo from buying more Rei clones?" Lazuli answered while asking a question of her own.

"Wait, you can buy Rei clones?!" Desmond said in absolute shock of his own lack of information.

"Of course, you can buy Rei clones, it's been a practice since the late 90's. In fact, our sources state that your Gendo recently purchased a batch of them to replace the ones you stole." Lazuli answered while looking at her folder of information and adding "And it seems he...had them...customized...oh, joy."

Desmond meekly asked how exactly where they customized before the cybernetic blonde could her answer.

"Sadly, we can't reveal that, you'll just have to find out for yourself. Although I don't think that your Gendo cares what the as he would call them "plebs" think of his new Reis." Lazuli says before looking at her watch, "And sadly, that's all of our time. Joining me next time will be the Jubei Kibagami of Earth Dimension NJSR-812-Sigma as he discloses his involvement in the recent raid that kept a multiversal Shrek outbreak from becoming widespread. Thank you for watching and enjoy the rest of your day."

-WNN-

The cameras stop rolling as Bishops approaches Lazuli now outside of the studio.

"There has got to be a way I can salvage my plans, right? I am begging here." Desmond asked only for Lazuli to roll her eyes.

"I'll tell you if you have some dignity, you're a goddamn 10th rank for Christ's sake." Lazuli said glaring at him.

"At this point, I can't really afford pride or dignity since I'm getting support from the damn SJWs, and my plans to bolster my forces for my endgame on NERV is starting to fall apart." Bishops responds before waiting to hear what the blonde cyborg had to say.

"The easiest solution is keep your cold war going. Gendo is a man of ego and pride, isn't he? He wants to keep this cold war going to prove you wrong. If anything, your plan has not exactly fallen apart, but has gotten complicated. The easiest solution is just straight up kill him and do a hostile takeover of NERV, but you want to actually fix everything. So, you'll just have to deal with this cold war until you can kill him at the earliest you can." Lazuli said with a sigh. "He can't make a move against you directly, so bank on that. Keep building allies to back you up, you'll need them. You want to up your survival rate? Build a clan."

"A clan?" Bishops asked. "But I don't have any family."

"You literally didn't think to adopt a Rei as your own." Lazuli said as Desmond facepalmed. "It would have been a start."

"Excuse me, I wanted to ask if you could point me to the station manager." A voice said.

The two looked over to see Rei in a suit with a briefcase. Lazuli nodded leaving Desmond behind to lead the Rei to the manager.

* * *

(A/N: This was co-written with me and DSX before I give the final edits and added the ending scene. I figured the interview deserved to come out in full and it would be funny to explain the invasion of Reis all over the verses.)


	11. Late October 2019

**The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **October 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Rei and Bulma." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set. "Oh god, they're multiplying."_

"Greeting warpers, I am Rei. Welcome to Warper News Network." Rei said as Bulma rolled her eyes.

"Let's get down the big one. Ryder Blackthorn has joined the list of those who have survived being the Gamer. Congrats to him! And a bigger one that he's now a father to a beautiful daughter. The warping world welcomes you _Ruri Blackthorn_. And she and Ryker's child, _Rai_ , will be the first of the next generation to not receive a bounty by birthday due to the removal of Rebecca's old policies." Bulma rattled.

"In bounty news, a few bounties concerning Fusion Force has been re-administered as the group is being properly recalculated and some of the Crystal Squadron had been updated to which all will be shown at the end of the transmission along with a few others. Speaking of Ryder, Ryker, and their spawns, bounty hunters are getting discouraged to go after them seeing as Akira and Genevieve have actually gotten active wanting to protect their grandkids." Bulma said nervously.

"Mirai Studios is getting back into making more RWBY content and now for politics." Rei said as the footage cut to show a "debate".

The president was tied a chair and gagged as the two sides waged war in the meeting room shooting each other with guns provided by the NRA. The footage shifted back.

"Sorry, that's the footage of last month's debate." Rei said before showing the recent one.

It was pretty much the same thing only the two sides were using their fists. The president wasn't tied up, but he was bleeding out on the floor. The footage changed back to a dry Bulma looking at Rei.

"Anyway….we…" Bulma said before a spaceship crashed into the studio. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Out of it came bounty hunters limping away only to get cornered by Akira and Genevieve themselves. Bulma hid under the desk and dragged Rei down with her.

"So…you thought you could smack my wife's rear?" Akira said cracking his knuckles. "Don't even get up, you're already dead."

"And I think it's time, we close early. See you all soon!" Bulma said panicked.

"But what about…" Rei said before a flood light fall on her. "Ouch…."

Bulma had to creep away with Rei's body only to see that the Blackthorn pair had slaughtered those hunters and dragged off their corpses to claim the bounties. A snap of their fingers and the studio was completely fixed.

"Oh well, I guess we can continue….Warpers are still seeking out Joshinari Blackthorn as he has all be mysteriously disappeared with his crew. We reached out to his family, but they all don't know where he is." Bulma said worriedly. "And in other news, Desmond Bishops is apparently in a cold war with Gendo Ikari. Still…"

"By the way, what happened to the two Reis ending up in CN-Zen Kuro?" Rei said groggily waking up.

"One ended up killed because she landed in Vice in the middle of gang shooting and the other….apparently there's a rumor going around she's working in a brothel."

Before Rei could ask the footage ended only to show with the list of the new and updated bounties.

 ** _"The Blackest Gemslayer" Ryker Blackthorn – 3,790,481,200 - 10th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Shinin' Super Warrior" Garnet Blackthorn – 1,550,400,000 – 6th Rank - Active_**

 ** _"The Immortal Warrior of the Stars" and "Innocent Spawn of the Shogun" Lars and Ashi Barriga – 1,085,500,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Rebellion Ravager/Crystal Hypocrite" Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond – 2,075,000,000 - 9th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Oracle's Omens" Saki and Mandy Shadows – 1,150,650,000 – 6th Rank - Active_**

 ** _"Heaven's Survivor" Maylene Shadows – 25,750,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Mistress of Mana" Gwen Tennyson – 225,500,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Sir Shifted" Kevin Levin – 450,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Turbo Tornados" Carol and Kaze D. Gray – 1,051,750,000 – 6th Rank /10th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Lakewood's Rising Storm" Kaio O. Kincaid / K.O. – 50,500,050 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Kunochi of the Full Moon" Enid – 110,550,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Telekinetic Terror" Radicles – 110,500,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Retired Badass of Lakewood" Mr. Gar / El Bow – 220,150,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Iron Kappa" Dendy – 150,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Fallen Frost Queen" – Frankie Foster – 575,200,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Subzero Saiyan" Elsa Lynn Foster – 24,785,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Samurai of the Coldest Depths" – Mifune Foster – 23,500,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Subzero Sufferer" Shinji Foster – 10,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Deadly Outsider / The Black Demonslayer" Kenji Victoria Blackthorn – 3,575,000,000 – 10th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"McFarland's Survivor" Megan "Meg" Blackthorn – 2,965,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Spawn of Nine Tails" Jerome Shinji Jase – 2,940,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Shifting Slayer" Jillian Wilcox – 2,080,998,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Electric Amoral Ace" Josho Shadow Blackthorn – 4,580,000,000 – 10th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Doombringer Dominatrix" Delia Dominator-Blackthorn – 2,047,000,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"The Fallen Swordswoman" Michiko (formerly Motoko Aoyama) – 3,046,800,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Hina Hellraiser" Keitaro Urashima – 1,046,500,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

 ** _"Shy Sadist Snake" Shinobu Maehara – 990,998,000 – 6th Rank – Active_**

* * *

(A/N: Yes, this is late. Sorry about that, school is piling high. Either way, I want to at least show the new bounties that I missed. I'll deal with the reactions later. See you all, next month!)


	12. November 2019

**The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **November 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Rei and Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

"Greeting warpers, I am Rei. Welcome to Warper News Network." Rei said as Kale remarked similar meetings.

"Let's begin with some news of yesterday. Halloween marked big parades across the world and with a few being centered on Ruby Rose as it was her birthday yesterday. Congrats…and let's hope your show gets better." Rei said kindly.

"Of course, one such event marked tragedy in CN-Zen Kuro. A terrorist attack had left several injured and a few deaths. Molly Micher, Dana Angel, and Evey D Roberts. We're sorry your lives were taken." Kale said remarked somberly.

"And the culprit of this attack?" Rei remarked. "Is still at large at the moment, and the only evidence found was a cracked Glorb."

"Moving onto politics, the parties are still fighting, the President has moved to Florida for residency, and the people are waiting for the term to end." Rei reported.

"You think he'll be impeached?" Kale asked.

"Frankly, who cares? America is screwed either way because of either leading party. The president is a mere speck on the sea of issues we have. He's just blatant and obvious. Will getting rid of him solve the problem? Who knows? Honestly, politics is something I leave to the "brave" souls willing to wade in that muddled water." Rei remarked sharply. "Besides, we have actual news to talk about. Like Pinkamena."

"Oh right. Pinkamena has settled down on in a version of Equestria." Kale said looking down at the papers. "Replaced their Pinkie who blew herself up in a baking accident."

"I bet that place is a hellhole." Beerus said off-camera.

"I concur." Whis remarked off-camera.

"Actually, reports have confirmed she has taken over wresting control away from Luna and Celestia before taking the throne as Queen. She's actually made several advances in improving life there under the motto of "Make Equestria Great Always" while wearing pink hats." Rei said stoically as an image of Queen Pinkamena appeared.

"Okay. She has to be trolling the news." Beerus said dryly.

"I pity the townsfolk." Whis said.

"But quality of life is high and there's free health care." Rei said flatly. "If the woman is making things better and not being a tyrant, then I'll give her credit for it."

"She still did take over the place by force." Kale retorted.

"Either way, Mirai Studios has announced the cancellation of Path of Shadows and that Remnant's Four Shadows has been renewed for two more volumes. The finale to Volume 2 will be released his month." Rei said looking at her watch. "And that's all the time we have today. Have a great Liberty Day."

 _The feed cut out and for once the studio was intact with no damage._

* * *

(A/N: On time for once, and I want to thank you all for the reads, reviews, and so on. Now before you ask, I had to axe them. Raising stakes and it fulfilled a need to trim down Kenji's team. Honestly, I've grown to want to distance myself from monkeycheese. I really don't like the direction his art's gone, and I just couldn't keep his characters around. I almost decided to axe Jerome, but…I have other plans for him. Let's make this month count.)


	13. December 2019

**The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **December 2019**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Rei and Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

"Greeting warpers, I am Rei. Welcome to Warper News Network." Rei said as Kale remarked similar meetings.

"Let's start with our breaking news. Hate crimes against gems and gemkind are on the rise in the multiverse from humans. This is believed due to the actions of holding human zoos, versions of the Diamonds attempting to attack other universes, and terrorist attacks against the Order." Kale said with a sigh. "Honestly, at this point, I'm a bit frightened as the studio had to fend off some crazed Pearl."

"Shouldn't be concerned that ten of those worlds have been forcibly merged and there's a barrier preventing people from getting in?" Rei asked. "It's been…rather off-putting."

"Oh who cares?" Kale said rolling her eyes. "Not like it's going to matter."

Rei had a dry look in her face as Kale face palmed.

"Fine, we'll send someone to investigate." Kale said with a groan.

"In other news, with the new year coming, Mirai Studios has announced that a Naruto and My Hero Academia version of RWBYverse is Infinite is being considered due to the popularity of The Geist Within." Rei remarked. "As for news in the Dragon Ball, there are still riots over Vic's departure. We'd go live to them, but we won't."

"Shouldn't we be informing the people that the RWBY fandom is rioting too?" Goku said off-screen.

"Oh please, it's been an endless riot since Monty died." Kale remarked. "At this point, it's White Noise. This year has just been one continued drag. What good things happened this year, huh?"

"Plenty of things. Trump's leavi…" Rei said before Kale screamed, "OH PRAISE BE THE DAY!"

Kale was dancing on the desk calling for the confetti only for Rei to keep a stony face.

"You know, they have not gotten him impeached or anything. Plus, there's a high chance he could be re-elected." Rei said dryly.

"Well merry effin' Christmas! You have to ruin it, ya stoic twat!" Kale screamed before storming off.

"I guess we're ending here then. Enjoy your holidays and merry Christmas!" Rei said kindly.

* * *

(A/N: Christmas. Can't believe the year's over, but that's life. Thank you all for the support, you've given. Let's pray for a better year! And yes, I am serious for a RWBYverse styled fic for Naruto and MHA. If the demand is high, I'll make it next year.)


	14. December 2019 (2)

**The Warper News Network (the series)**

 **December 2019 (Part 2)**

* * *

 **(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)**

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

 _"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Beerus and Whis." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set._

Beerus and Whis both looked concerned as they sat at the desk, with Whis awkwardly sipping his tea.

"Well, happiest of holidays to you mortals. While you all are dreaming of Christmas cheer, we infuriately have bad news. The ploy with those planets that we announced in an earlier broadcast was a ploy the entire time. Apparently, Spinel's a lot more sly with we though." Beerus said bitterly.

"She's forced three universes to merge together to form her new empire, the Spiral Empire. A mixture of Star Vs, RWBY, and Steven Universe." Whis said abashedly.

"Oh gods, a mixture of woke crap. Must be full of SJWs." Beerus said scarastically.

"Actually no. That would have been easier to deal with. Spinel rules the face with an iron fist and being that most of the population are not warpers, she's practically doesn't have to deal with the usual OU rules. She's taken over the Schnee Dust Company, Diamond Authority's military, and the Atlas armies via hostile takeover. Numerous people have been killed, sold off to slavery, or…well worse." Whis said as Beerus rolled his eyes.

"To which normally, we wouldn't complain about, but…there's the matter that she has an obvious grudge towards Pink Diamond. Seeing that Ryker's in the way of that…it's a war in the making." Beerus remarked. "However, we do have an eye on the new empire. Rei on the scene!"

The video feed lit up to show Rei on the streets of Mistral which were quite lively.

"Here I am on the streets of Mistral. Spinel has made for sweeping reform to improve quality of life. Let's interview this woman here. Excuse me, miss. How do you feel about your new ruler?" Rei asked.

 _"Wonderful! I mean, yeah, Spinel's an empress with an iron fist, but she's done plenty to improve things. For one, she's set up a platform to pull the poor out of poverty."_

"What about accusations of her crimes in the multiverse?" Rei asked.

" _So what? So, she's enslaving a few people and killing a few bastards who had it coming. That's not my problem."_

"And there you have it. Indifference." Rei said with a shrug. "Back to you, Whis."

Back at the studio, the two looked winded.

"So…the new year with the empires. Spinel's and Pinkamena's." Beerus said with a sigh. "At least, Pinkamena's empire seems to be more pleasant."

"Funny, you should mention that. Pinkamena's empire has opened up as a refugee spot. Seems the Neo Equestria is doing pretty well. How much you want to bet Spinel and Pinkamena go to war?" Whis remarked.

"Whis, I'm as sure they'll come blows to as sure next year will bring us ungodly remakes of beloved shows." Beerus said sipping his tea. "And that's a wrap."

* * *

(A/N: Something to add to the last chapter of the year for FusionFall Infinite. I have to hand it to MonoSheep for giving me the wicked idea to pull this stunt. Next year, we wheel in new plots, new actions, and with all your favorites!)


End file.
